How to Create Lifelong Change

​So what does a photo of me dancing have to do with the essential topic at hand?  The short answer is everything, so please read on. When I hear a life coach say that they have helped people make life-long changes in an instant, even 60 minutes, I just want to scream. Akin to weight loss claims that over-promise quick results, a soul-wrenching realization at the hands of even the most skillful coach doesn’t lead to lifelong change without work.
Can you make a commitment to change in an instant? Absolutely. Sustain it without hard work? Absolutely not. Only diligence and a belief in yourself can bring lifelong change. There are coaching strategies that can provide the tools but you have to supply the muscle power. Strategic Intervention strategies are an example of ones I know can work. They are effective because they are predicated on two proven tenets: if you’ve ever experienced joy you are able to recreate that feeling. Second, you have the power to make that happen. Easy, however, it is not.

I’m a good example of both recreating the feeling of joy and the work needed to make it stick. During and after a bad marriage, I felt debilitating depression and anxiety. Deep down, I knew I wasn’t going to live my life in a depressed state forever but had no idea how to change, therefore, I didn’t. I also knew that listening to music had always put a smile on my face and dancing made me laugh out loud but I hadn’t had that experience for 15 years. Fifteen years of being stuck! After my divorce, I started to go out and listen to music and dance and the smiling and laughing returned. It was something I wanted more of. This joy might only last 2 hours but it meant 2 hours less of being depressed. Over time, I began to feel more joy to where I now sometimes feel cranky or anxious 1-2 hours a day. Perfect, I am not and I am willing to bet you I never will be; but this is a whole heck of a lot better than being depressed or anxious 16 hours of my waking day. What also slowly happened was an increasing ability to pinpoint what was causing the anxiety. I could then take steps to manage or eliminate the cause and, even better, get in touch with an inner source of strength to relax and create positive thoughts even when the stressor was sitting right in front of me.

Fast forward 8 years later and I am studying Strategic Intervention Coaching. It hit me that what I had been doing all those years was following their methodologies. I realized:

1. I could change
2. Identify what brought me joy
3. Do whatever it took as often as I could to do those things that brought me joy
4. Recognize and applaud myself when being happy
5. Reach out and help others experience joy
6. Constantly validate what worked and stop doing what didn’t
7. Repeat

It took me many years, though, to gain this awareness. I learned that Strategic Intervention coaching can give you the tools to in just months. And I know that each day now brings another opportunity to both experience joy and to improve my ability to turn my thoughts around.

Each of us has to identify those things that bring joy. It can be spending time with a grandchild, playing golf, playing cards or reading. Take the time to identify those things and then build them into your life, one hour at a time if need be.

Don’t wait as long as I did! Contact Christine Caldwell Coaching to start you on your journey to a positive and meaningful life. For a free consultation you can contact me by going to https://www.christinecaldwellcoaching.com/ or by emailing chris@christinecaldwellcoaching.com. 

And, no matter what your age remember the words of Leeann Womack: “When you get the chance to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance.” Just like my friend and his 90 year-old mom do.

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