The "I Am Not Worthy" Belief

Of all the negative beliefs that people can get stuck in, the “I-am-not-worthy-one", is huge. It strikes just about every person and causes much unhappiness in every aspect of a person’s life. There are ways to turn that belief around and one of them is a strategy called Coaching 360. It taps our inner selves, those parts of our self that fight against each other. It’s easier to understand through example, so here are 3 real-life coaching situations where people turned their lives around.

To anyone that knew Grace, a successful 73 year old businesswoman, you would have thought she had it all. She had owned a thriving business and was now a yoga and meditation teacher. She found joy in dancing and even danced competitively. But deep down she didn’t feel worthy or comfortable around people. She was asked to identify this feeling and to treat it like a person. Asked to give this feeling a name, Grace called her “I-don’t-belong”. It was clear I-don’t-belong ruled her life. Over the course of a few coaching sessions, Grace was taught to listen to her, to solicit I-don’t-belong’s help and to actively work with her for a more joyful life. Aligning with that part of you that holds you back can make all the difference in leading a more fulfilling life. Part of the acceptance was that Grace realized she didn’t always have to belong. She and “I-don’t-belong” could decide and feel good about the decision.

Alice was a 47 year old women who didn’t believe she was worthy of a romantic relationship. She was also asked to give a name to this feeling and she called her Safety. Safety made sure Alice did not get hurt and told her the job she loved and her handful of close friends provided all the love and connection she needed. But Alice knew there was another part of her that missed romantic love and really wanted it. The coach asked Alice to give her a name and a persona as well. Alice called her Cinnamon. Alice introduced Safety to Cinnamon and had them decide how they could work together to help Alice. It’s important to honor and understand the positive intent of each part of you. They are there to serve but sometimes one runs roughshod over the other and doesn’t allow the other any time. Safety was so busy making sure Alice didn’t get hurt that Alice was missing out. As she gave voice to Cinnamon, with the help of the coach suggesting ways to bring her out more often to “play”, Alice was able to open up to the possibility of a romantic relationship.

Fifty-nine year old Steve also had an issue with feeling worthy. In general, he was upbeat and loved life until he was let go from his job. Most men thrive on doing; their self-esteem is tied to that, especially their job. If that is lost then they can feel lost and unworthy. The name Steve gave this feeling was “The Doer”. The Doer was responsible for so much that had been important and necessary for Steve to succeed in his life. Success in this case didn’t just mean monetary success, it meant providing for his family and feeling that he was making a difference in their lives and in the lives of others. Men also know that without The Doer, we women wouldn’t love them. But Steve recognized there was something he was missing, he just wasn’t sure what. He definitely knew that losing his job was sending him into a downward spiral. As he went deep inside he found there were other parts, all wanting to be given a voice. Steve identified The Lover and The Believer, parts of him that wanted to not just give but also to receive love and knew leaving a legacy to those he loved and to the world were important. He was able to get those 3 parts of him to work together and come to a belief that his next job would be great but it wouldn’t define him.

Perhaps all this sounds too simple or too hokey. It is rather simple but most of us don’t realize the power that each of us has inside. Although the description of the above scenarios were greatly shortened. aligning inner voices to result in a unified, happy person is truly not difficult. I’ve seen it happen but it does take work and it takes repetition. But it seems so “worth it”, doesn’t it? Please go to www.christinecaldwellcoaching.com or contact me at chris@christinecaldwellcoaching.com for a free consultation.

Christine Caldwell Coaching
Christine Caldwell is a certified Neuro-Linguistic Programming Life Coach and has completed both the Robbins-Madanes Core 100 and Core 200 coaching programs. Additionally, Christine has 30 years’ experience as a sales and marketing executive, business owner and career counselor. For more information go to:  www.christinecaldwellcoaching.com.
​
Sculpture by artist, Alexander Milov, showcased at The Burning Man Festival, 2015

---